Why do we say ‘my dream last night’ when we have just woken up from it? It wasn’t last night it was two seconds ago. And I have day dreams all the time so I think I we should start a new trend that says no to ‘my dream last night’ and says yes to ‘my dream I just had once second ago and not really last night because it just happened’.

ANYHOW.

I just woke up from a dream and it was a bit of a weird one and I though: hey write it down. So that is what I am doing.

I was going back to highschool – and no I don’t have these dreams often. And I met two asian guys that I used to know (I specify asian because I don’t know if that is normal to distinguish races in dreams) and we started hanging out and swapping stories and then I realized I had left my freind kate wandering around the school looking for me and there was all this new stuff there, there was a sideways eleveator that went across this huge half underground half not parking lot. And this parking lot was the size of two football fields. And so we went off looking for her and as soon as I found her (in zara which happened to be in the school) they were like ohh you guys have to come into this chinese antique store here (also still in the school) and went running in. So I brought kate and we went after them to introduce her. When we got inside there was this old chinese man trying to sell them stuff and they kept asking us if we liked it on and on. And just as we were getting tired of looking at old chinese jewelry the old man pulled out this table with different perfumes and smelly sticks and potpouri and stuff. The three guys (yes there are three of them now) sat down and each picked a smell and I went round and asked to smell this smell one was jasmine and one was oregano (i know wierd and not a good choice for him)(he would just smell like pizza wherever he went right?) and the last one was water lily. All odd choices for three guys but whatever.

When I got to the last one he almost started crying and stuttered out thank you. Thank you for forgiving me. And I was completely at a loss. I had no idea what he was talking about. “Forgiving you for what?” For telling you that your photography was awful in class. And then he went on to actually cry and I gave him an akward side shoulder hug.

And that is when my “here comes the bride” alarm went off. I really need to change that. I did it as a joke – you know so that people would think I was this weirdo who had been married a year ago but thought it was absolutely the best time of her life and was still hanging on… I have come to conclusion that: a joke isn’t funny anymore when it start to annoy the person who thought of it.

So lessons learned:

1. Oregano is a bad smell for anyone unless you are a pizza.
2. Do not leave your alarm on “here comes the bride” if you want to stay sane.
3. You might be able to blame weird dreams on an alarm like ” here comes the bride”.

When you get up at five every day – sleeping in is an impossiblity.

Why is it that when you wake up early it seems to be the light that wakes you?  Its not actually really light outside at five am, but something about the light is different and its the first thing you notice.

And then it seems to get darker… like everything is conspiring to make you feel more and more like you should be sleeping.

You start yawning. Your eyes are sore. (well of course they are you are waking up too bloody early). And your body feels liquid tired.

But as soon as you try to sleep again. You are wide awake.

And I dont know about you, but I can’t fall asleep by thinking of boring things. I just get bored. Which sucks. Because now I am bored AND awake early.

I think the only solution is to blog about it. So good morning.

I made an important discovery yesterday. Our building has a roof that is somewhat accessible (and by accessible i mean you you have to go up when the door that is locked from outside is left open). The view is unbelievable.

Why not commonly left open you ask? I know why It is not commonly left open — it is because there is no glass on the railings so you could fall right through and down to an untimely death. Untimely because I would still be up on the roof marveling at the beautiful view.

We discovered it because Andrew and Linzee were over and we decided to explore and see if it was possible to get up there. and the door was wide open.

I want to go up there right now, but I am afraid that without Andrew and Linzee we wont be able to get up there again. Is it worth the risk?

Only if there is someone to fall untimely from the roof while i am caught in the splendor of the view.

And only if there is sage cheese to come back to. really.

So I officially have a fat lip. It is because i pierced it. I got a monroe. It looks pretty swell. it has swollen up a bit though. (The piercing has nothing to do with these short fragmented sentances – for the record).

So since it is pretty controversial and everyone seems to think they deserve an oppinion I have decided to create a handy Pro/Con list to solve the debate once and for all.

* Iron Mole: kills people with her moles which she picks off -  they then turn to iron which she throws at people. She is one of the lesser known super-heros admittedly. But handy in a pinch.

Well I think the amount of blank Cons boxes speaks for itself. But if I must I will declare PROS THE WINNER!!!!!

Okay now we will stop debating this infront of my face, and my new iron mole.

I have never had a Christmas like this one. I am working through it and it suddenly feels so very strange. I cant seem to get excited because it just feels like i’ve got so much to do. Know what I mean?

It also feels weird as I didn’t have much money this Christmas so i bough inexpensive presents for everyone and people have been buying me presents all over the place. All of my co-workers have been giving me Christmas gifts and I have nothing for them. I considered going to the dollar store and buying something small, but it felt too tacky. (and embarrassing).

Also I am very tired of covers of Old Christmas songs. Why doesn’t anyone do a new Christmas Carol-ish song? (Besides ludacris… who I am tempted to like because of the ridiculousness of the song). How difficult is it to write a song about christmas?

I suppose it doesnt rhyme with much… but then again i am sore, tired and tired and dont feel like figuring out what rhymes with Christmas besides histmas which isnt a word.

So there. I hope everyone else has a good Christmas, and feels safe in the knowledge that there is some out there working somewhere, keeping this crazy capitalist system running.

I have decided that exams in general are over-rated. The only reason i am participating in my last exam is that it involves the use of pencil crayons, dont ask me why i said colored pencils in the title, i am just that tired.

My last two exams i finished within the first hour…. out of three. That is a very bad sign. Because i KNOW that i didnt know all the answers and when you finish early either you have no idea what you are doing or you know every answer right away. and it definitely wasnt the first one.

I have also slept so little that my eye lids are permanently at half mast, and with such droopy squidgy eyelids i look like am having perverted fantasies about everyone i look at. (i should just start moaning strangely and really go for the gold). Perhaps it would allow me to pass my last final.

Well this may be the last post in a long while as the moment i finish my last final (which will be undoubtably way too quickly) I will fall into an extended coma. So if i dont post, you now know why.

PS: I think the librarian is a freak and actually likes my pervert eyelids. She is squinting at me in a freindly way that is entirely disconcerting.

PPS: I wonder if she likes pencil crayons. colored pencils… whatever.

okay… maybe i have stressed the whole….no one reads my blogs bit too much. its actually not an issue for me. In fact i had better not get any comments this week or else. I see that people are reading and poof the blog is gone.
i dont even want anyone browsing though. get lost. theres nothing for you here.

just to emphasize that a bit more maybe i will post some graphic pictures of dead grandmas…or something disgusting. just to really send the message out: i dont want YOU reading my blog.

there take that.

I know no one reads this…(besides you greg, that was a lovely comment, though i’m not sure i know who you are or how you found me, either way very nice comment, totally made my day) and since no one reads this i feel totally free to write about ridiculous things… like my hands smell like turkey pepperoni right now… and the smell is honestly making me sick. i cant stand it anymore. see. completely non important…and i can clutter my blog with it…

but i was looking over some of the random things i have posted and i thought to myself… i really hope i dont come across as one of those whiney poetic types. (okay now im smelling tuna… i think i must be getting sick. i now feel sick. i hate tuna. )(oh dear lord that smell is awful. someone somewhere near me is cooking tuna and ohhh i can smell it! so strong…) and im hoping im not that annoying girl who posts things about the guy who will never know that she loves him, or cheesily quotes Shakespeare…. blast!

Its true.. i quoted Shakespeare… romantically too. ohh i am so ashamed.

well now that I’ve failed i may as well make a list of the reasons that no one reads my blog. (and justly so).

10 reasons no one reads my blog:

1 – No one cares about me. (I am going to jump of the balcony after i finish this post.)

2- i am not a good-looking female who likes posting naked pictures of herself.

3-I don’t actually help anyone with my blogs

4-I don’t solve problems or provide useful information

5-I don’t do “Cryptic” blogs to enhance my cool. (“I can’t really say anything about this right now, but big important things are happening to someone we all know.”)

6- i write insights into my life that not even my husband cares about .

7- i have a very un-useful calendar with no regular updates

8-my apartment currently smells like tuna for some unknown reason

9- I post irregularly at best and can never remember to make fun of how the New York Times is always behind on trends

10- i have not yet blogged from a restaurant or bar, while I am at the restaurant or bar. This I believe is the key to being a popular blogger right, you have to have your computer with you at all times, while mine is usually only used for killing spiders and other household chores.

PS: as a side note i would like to point out that i had my first coffee and bailies of the winter season last night and it was wonderful. (this is an example of number six)

Hey everyone… i have a page online that i created. a real live page… its pretty swell.

parc du mont tremblant

check it out. I wrote it and everything.